Knowing.

I just had a conversation with my son.  We were talking about being what he calls "an oracle".  I'm thinking he is referring to the movie The Matrix.  You know the scene.  When the Grandmother pulls a tray of fresh-made cookies out of the oven and lets you know that what she is about to say...

"will really bake your noodle".

Sometimes the world delivers that kind of information...big enough that you can only swallow it a bite at a time.

My son and I went on to talk about where "knowing" resides.  I spoke about seeing with your heart.  And that most of the time what we are "seeing" comes from our minds.

He said that his knowing is a gut feeling.

Good one.

With all that is going on in our world.  I am happy to know that my son can trust and act on his gut sensation.

My son and I had this conversation because as he says - this is the fourth thing you knew about and it happened.

It takes a lot of responsibility to know.  To trust our knowing and act on our knowing.

Not everyone wants that level of responsibility.

We are all at different stages of exploring what that looks like.

You can call it listening to God.

Trusting your gut.

Following your intuition.

Hearing Spirit whisper.

It is all the same to me.

It is much easier to be pragmatic and logical - to discard the magic. To Google a "fact" and hand over our process to an authority, to assumptions and surface information.

A good question to ask - "what do I know now that I am not allowing in?".

As each of us navigate this time of violence and uncertainty, I feel that our "knowing" will guide us now more than ever.

Our "noodles are baked", our minds are likely incapable of processing what is going on in our world.  

It is time to trust our hearts and act on what our hearts are telling us.

The Chicken is in the Oven and Everything is Alright

Comfort food, rituals and making it all cozy.

Tonight I came home with a farm fresh chicken.  I grew up with access to farm-raised meat, milk and eggs so I look for the same locally.  My cousins had a farm and the chicken coop was my favorite place to play. (I bet a few of you can say the same)

For me the smell of a chicken roasting in the oven gives me comfort, warmth and a sense of home.  I know it does for my family.  I come from a long line of chicken-raising, chicken-cooking women.  I clearly remember my Great Grandmother preparing chicken and waffles.

My mother always roasted a perfect bird.  I found a recipe that I truly love by Ina Garten.  Here it is if you want to cook a chicken that will woo your loved ones...

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/engagement-roast-chicken-recipe.html

Yep,  I remember telling my boys that they were having engagement chicken when they were young.  I kind of believe that they will compare all roast chicken against this recipe.

But...

this isn't the whole story.

I want to talk about what it takes to make a home.  

To step up to the plate, to go the extra step and put your day aside and make the home warm and cozy for your family.  I believe that there are many people out there that do this for their family.  I don't care if you only have a bowl of rice or a can of beans (believe me, I've been there).  There are just people who know how to make it special.

I love the old trick I heard from a wisened girlfriend.  She told me "I always slice up some onions and put them in a pan when I hear my family come in the driveway".

I don't know what it is about making a house a home.  Must be in our DNA to have something roasting by the fire.  We get a sense of security and that everything is alright.

Tonight I am doing it more for myself.  I miss my family.  I miss my Mom and her home cooking
AND I want to be a good Mom to my kids.  I want to give them sensual memories of home.  Something that they can tap in to when the going gets tough.

Maybe something that they can pass on.

We all need a touchstone.

Blessings

We Die Like We Live

A few years ago my husband's cousin asked me to take a trip to Ohio to give him an Oncology Massage treatment.  He had recently been diagnosed with cancer and wanted to explore his options.

He knew I taught classes to practitioners and had also created a clinic which matched massage therapists certified in Oncology Massage with patients undergoing treatment.

My husband packed the car and we travelled several hours to his home and I began to give him treatments. We went back several times and I taught his wife how to do some of the protocols.

I've done this a lot for friends and family.

There is a lot of cancer going around.

One evening after giving him a treatment my husband's cousin asked me to sit down with him in the living room.  He wanted to talk about death.

He knew that I had experienced quite a few crossings as an Oncology Massage therapist.

He played a tape for me of songs he had written for his grandchildren who were not yet born.  He knew that he might not meet them.  The songs were gorgeous and full of his heart.

After we talked about his preparations for his family he asked me...

"how do you die?"

I thought a while about the many faces that I saw pass through my Oncology Massage clinic.

"We die like we live."

He liked that and I could see him reach a state of peace that evening.

I've hesitated to write the past few days.  Recently a dear friend passed.  I also have another who is preparing for the next "new normal" - whatever it may be.

Aromatic Traditions™ began because I wanted to lighten my life after many years in the oncology field.  I continue to "touch those who are touched by cancer" (my clinic slogan) by making healthy products for those who are seeking them.  I also know that when a friend or family member calls - I'm there.  Usually I am there before they call.  I know how important touch is...I know what it feels like to wake up in a hospital bed isolated and afraid.

Thank you for taking the time to read this little missive.  I have committed to writing every day for 30 days and the last two were challenging.  This commitment is what keeps me going on my path so that I may continue to serve.

Peace.

Holding Space

Holding space for all of you who need prayers.

Self Care and Self Love

Be true to you.

"To thine own self be true"

-oracle at Delphi

I'm writing this blog with a little bit of elation and sadness.  I had to practice taking care of myself by setting a boundary.  Knowing our boundary is a necessary component of self-love...we know where we end and someone else begins.

I had to draw a line this morning, ironically, with someone who teaches others about boundaries for a living.

My hope was to connect and create a referral section on my new website by featuring interviews with people that I know practice self-care.

Collaboration and community can be a wonderful thing.

It can also zap the energy right out of you if you let it.  The attempts to connect and have a conversation just became too hard.

Clue #1 - if it isn't easy, let it go for now.

Many of you who are reading this know that I have often been a part of spiritual communities.  Spiritual communities aren't perfect as one would "think". A superficial view if you haven't participated. They are great crucibles for self-awareness.  Some jump in and join the "big hot mess".  Some join and watch from the side-lines.  Some come in and out.  These actions vary individually and as a group.  All organic and human.

When do we decide what is best?

For me, it starts in the gut.  I get a sick or nauseous feeling when I am interacting with someone.

I'm tolerant to a fault.  This feeling is often abated by a bit of self-sacrifice (masochism) on my end to keep the connection.  To love the other through the pain.  To keep the door open as I have been taught.

When is enough, enough?  

Well, I frankly don't know until I'm in it.

For me it began with my spiritual community.  I could only do so much in a certain capacity and needed to step back and let others step up.  Next came a very toxic family situation as a stepparent.  I felt I had to lay boundaries with everyone.  I couldn't believe it.  I had always felt myself a "free" spirit.

Clue#2 - freedom and responsibility reside on the same coin.

We all have to negotiate boundaries - I know, I know - some of you will say we are all one.

Probably AND we also need space to learn how to love ourselves.

I am granting that to my self right now.  I'm sure that is what the individual is doing who I could not connect with at this time - setting boundaries too.

We may connect again down the road.  We may not.

I'm interested to hear how your thoughts on self-love as self-care and setting your own boundaries.

Be true to you.