Knowing.

I just had a conversation with my son.  We were talking about being what he calls "an oracle".  I'm thinking he is referring to the movie The Matrix.  You know the scene.  When the Grandmother pulls a tray of fresh-made cookies out of the oven and lets you know that what she is about to say...

"will really bake your noodle".

Sometimes the world delivers that kind of information...big enough that you can only swallow it a bite at a time.

My son and I went on to talk about where "knowing" resides.  I spoke about seeing with your heart.  And that most of the time what we are "seeing" comes from our minds.

He said that his knowing is a gut feeling.

Good one.

With all that is going on in our world.  I am happy to know that my son can trust and act on his gut sensation.

My son and I had this conversation because as he says - this is the fourth thing you knew about and it happened.

It takes a lot of responsibility to know.  To trust our knowing and act on our knowing.

Not everyone wants that level of responsibility.

We are all at different stages of exploring what that looks like.

You can call it listening to God.

Trusting your gut.

Following your intuition.

Hearing Spirit whisper.

It is all the same to me.

It is much easier to be pragmatic and logical - to discard the magic. To Google a "fact" and hand over our process to an authority, to assumptions and surface information.

A good question to ask - "what do I know now that I am not allowing in?".

As each of us navigate this time of violence and uncertainty, I feel that our "knowing" will guide us now more than ever.

Our "noodles are baked", our minds are likely incapable of processing what is going on in our world.  

It is time to trust our hearts and act on what our hearts are telling us.

The Tests are Back and I Feel Great

I've been waiting for a month for lab results.  Just the wait was stressful and the diagnosis - adrenal fatigue.

Nothing new.

I've gone up and down following treatment plans for several years now.  (I'll be blogging periodically about my new protocol because this time I'm excited and it feels right.)

What I am really curious about is what was I living on if (clinically) there was nothing in the tank?

I've seen this over and over with oncology massage clients.  Some people enjoy an amazing quality of life when the test results don't look so great.

I've seen it in my only family with my father.

What are we living on if our tank is empty?

Spirit.

Chi.

Will-power.

Denial.

All possible answers or a combination of a few.

I've had friends with adrenal fatigue who have moved out of the United States and taken up living in a country with a slower pace and a back to the farm lifestyle.

Can't do that here.  I'm a mother, a business owner, a wife with a bi-coastal marriage.  What I can do is celebrate a new regime of honoring what is already in place and begin to take baby steps back to health.

In the meantime...I am going to give thanks for whatever is keeping my tank full.

Thank you Spirit.

We Die Like We Live

A few years ago my husband's cousin asked me to take a trip to Ohio to give him an Oncology Massage treatment.  He had recently been diagnosed with cancer and wanted to explore his options.

He knew I taught classes to practitioners and had also created a clinic which matched massage therapists certified in Oncology Massage with patients undergoing treatment.

My husband packed the car and we travelled several hours to his home and I began to give him treatments. We went back several times and I taught his wife how to do some of the protocols.

I've done this a lot for friends and family.

There is a lot of cancer going around.

One evening after giving him a treatment my husband's cousin asked me to sit down with him in the living room.  He wanted to talk about death.

He knew that I had experienced quite a few crossings as an Oncology Massage therapist.

He played a tape for me of songs he had written for his grandchildren who were not yet born.  He knew that he might not meet them.  The songs were gorgeous and full of his heart.

After we talked about his preparations for his family he asked me...

"how do you die?"

I thought a while about the many faces that I saw pass through my Oncology Massage clinic.

"We die like we live."

He liked that and I could see him reach a state of peace that evening.

I've hesitated to write the past few days.  Recently a dear friend passed.  I also have another who is preparing for the next "new normal" - whatever it may be.

Aromatic Traditions™ began because I wanted to lighten my life after many years in the oncology field.  I continue to "touch those who are touched by cancer" (my clinic slogan) by making healthy products for those who are seeking them.  I also know that when a friend or family member calls - I'm there.  Usually I am there before they call.  I know how important touch is...I know what it feels like to wake up in a hospital bed isolated and afraid.

Thank you for taking the time to read this little missive.  I have committed to writing every day for 30 days and the last two were challenging.  This commitment is what keeps me going on my path so that I may continue to serve.

Peace.

To Those Gone By...

In honor of those gone by.

Self Care and Self Love

Be true to you.

"To thine own self be true"

-oracle at Delphi

I'm writing this blog with a little bit of elation and sadness.  I had to practice taking care of myself by setting a boundary.  Knowing our boundary is a necessary component of self-love...we know where we end and someone else begins.

I had to draw a line this morning, ironically, with someone who teaches others about boundaries for a living.

My hope was to connect and create a referral section on my new website by featuring interviews with people that I know practice self-care.

Collaboration and community can be a wonderful thing.

It can also zap the energy right out of you if you let it.  The attempts to connect and have a conversation just became too hard.

Clue #1 - if it isn't easy, let it go for now.

Many of you who are reading this know that I have often been a part of spiritual communities.  Spiritual communities aren't perfect as one would "think". A superficial view if you haven't participated. They are great crucibles for self-awareness.  Some jump in and join the "big hot mess".  Some join and watch from the side-lines.  Some come in and out.  These actions vary individually and as a group.  All organic and human.

When do we decide what is best?

For me, it starts in the gut.  I get a sick or nauseous feeling when I am interacting with someone.

I'm tolerant to a fault.  This feeling is often abated by a bit of self-sacrifice (masochism) on my end to keep the connection.  To love the other through the pain.  To keep the door open as I have been taught.

When is enough, enough?  

Well, I frankly don't know until I'm in it.

For me it began with my spiritual community.  I could only do so much in a certain capacity and needed to step back and let others step up.  Next came a very toxic family situation as a stepparent.  I felt I had to lay boundaries with everyone.  I couldn't believe it.  I had always felt myself a "free" spirit.

Clue#2 - freedom and responsibility reside on the same coin.

We all have to negotiate boundaries - I know, I know - some of you will say we are all one.

Probably AND we also need space to learn how to love ourselves.

I am granting that to my self right now.  I'm sure that is what the individual is doing who I could not connect with at this time - setting boundaries too.

We may connect again down the road.  We may not.

I'm interested to hear how your thoughts on self-love as self-care and setting your own boundaries.

Be true to you.

Renew, Revive, Nourish & Guide Yourself

NEW Product - 4 Self-Care Ritual Boxes             Aromatic Traditions™  2015

Thrilled to launch these new and thought-filled "Self-Care Elemental Ritual Boxes".

Our first box: Renewal - Elemental Water Ritual is packed to the brim with our farm-fresh products, a detachable ritual instruction card and a sweet little one-of-a-kind talisman designed by Linda Lee at Dragon Hill Studios in California.

You can check it out here:

Elemental Water Ritual - Renewal  Aromatic Traditions™  2015

http://www.aromatictraditions.com/collections/organic-holiday/products/self-care-rituals-elemental-water-ritual-renewal

I love our ritual card.  Each ritual is care-fully designed to lead you deep into a state of total relaxation and self-care. 

We will continue our blog series with inspiration to fill your cup.

Blessings.

Mother, Wife, Renovations and Other "Distractions"

Bottom Line.

Every once in a while I get a chance to set my priorities - straight.

The bottom line is my kid Alex.  His brother too, however, he lives several thousand miles away right now.  You see, I live a bi-coastal relationship for now. Half of my family in Oregon and the other half in New York.

During this time we are also renovating a floating home so that my husband can semi-retire and enjoy life on the water.

I, on the other hand, am growing my business.

Staying true to myself and true to course is the biggest challenge.  Self-employment offers a bit of freedom and you almost always work well beyond the hours you would employed by someone else.

But shhhhh....

Nobody really knows that I "work".  You see, I have made myself very available to my family in the beginning.  I was a stepmom then.  Trying my hardest to provide the kids and family with consistency and stability.  This takes a lot of time and energy.

Slowly I am adding bits and pieces of myself back into the picture.  Kind of like Oz behind the curtain.  I'm not talking ego - I'm talking fake it 'til you make it.

There are no rule books for being a parent and there certainly are no rule books for step parents.

Boy do I hate the word step parent.  I've decided to drop it and just become Mom - because this is what I do.

As I write this blog I can hear the sound of a screw being driven into a wall and my son and his Dad talking about life.

I am writing this blog as part of a 30-day challenge and have committed to take my business to the next level in the midst of renovations and distractions.

Because... this is what I do.

For the Love of a River

Pine Creek Canyon     Wellsboro, PA

Water represents emotion in my tradition.  Moving water - flowing emotions.  Stuck water - stuck emotions.

Dark water - things are not so clear.  Clear water - yeah, you get my drift.

I was born on a river.  Our cottage, the Lazy Lodge, literally hung over the river pictured above and I could hear it day and night.

My grandfather taught me how to fish, swim and live off the river.  He dried mullein stalks and we later soaked them in kerosene and lit them like torches and walked along the railroad tracks at night.  Very primal.

Our place was right below the one rapid - Owassee rapids.  We learned about the bounty of the river as we saved those who had overturned in the rapids and gathered coolers, six-packs and river booty as it floated by our cottage.

My grandfather also taught me about the strength of the river and death.  He took me by the hand and walked me the half mile or so along the tracks so that I could see a woman who had died while navigating the river.  I remember her almost blue body underneath a rock.

Later in life, I chose to follow a friend and work on the Snake River in Wyoming.  I became an official whitewater guide.

Here is a pic, I am in the back and my crew has just hit the hole that they call the Big Kahuna.  We didn't get enough speed to get through the rapid without "hitting" it hard.  You get used to that as a guide.  You can encourage (a gentle word for not yell so hard) to paddle and then you just have to let go and ride it out.

The "Big Kahnua", Snake River, Wyoming USA

Now I am back on the river.  This time the Multnomah Channel of the Willamette River near Portland, OR.  My husband and I are renovating a floating home from the river up.  I wake each day to the river flowing right by my front door.  Cormorants, Bald and Golden Eagle, Great Blue Heron and Osprey are my constant companions.

Once I guided on the river, now the river guides me.  

Floating Home on Multnomah Channel

Wish you were here.

Hello My Name Is

Demo Day at Greenstar Co-op Ithaca, NY

Taking my wares to market is a great chance to break from the solitude of working in a lab.  I get to shift gears and prepare my samples, set-up and costume (yes, I like to put on red lipstick).

It is an opportunity to meet people that I don't know, face to face and speak openly about what I can do for them, why I make what I make the way I do and generally hand out free swag.

Instantly I feel open, happy (after a bit of apprehension preparing) and thrilled to meet people who are curious and willing to put their guard down for a moment to come up to speak to me.

Different venues bring different clientele, values and interests.  I am particularly drawn to co-ops as the members are usually very well educated about what they put in their mouths and on their bodies.

I get a chance to walk my talk.

You also never know what is going to happen.

It can be hopping and happening...or

you're all dressed up and...

nobody shows.

That is the way it was for the three years I tried the Bridal Show circuit.  Boy did my feet get sore.  I made a commitment to stand the entire time, meet and speak to every single person who walked by my booth and I had an assistant gather e-mails.

In three years, I received nay an order.  I spent more time educating people about bespoke perfumery.  Most people in the rural part of upstate NY could not wrap their heads around the concept.

It was the same when I brought massage therapy to the area.  I was an ice-breaker for therapists who came years later.  Some of us are ice-breakers and pioneers.

We pave the ways so others can bring the next level of expertise.

I wouldn't change that role for a minute.  I truly believe in what I have to offer.  Just a little bit ahead of my time perhaps.

Here is to all you trendsetters out there - be forever creative.

Intention to Manifestation

The Khata Tree© Project    Aromatic Traditions 2014

A few years ago I had a vivid dream. I saw a Khata (a ceremonial scarf symbolizing goodwill and compassion) streaming from a tree void of leaves.

The dream struck and I began to find a way to manifest that vision.

I started to write and illustrate a children's book.  Here is the first layer of a painting illustrating a young Tibetan girl who has discovered a Khata.

Tibetan Girl with Khata©  S. Varga

Several illustrations for the book were completed and then the project stalled.  Life caught up with me.  Kid's soccer games, Aromatic Traditions™ began to grow, I put the paintbrush down.

A few months later I decided to reach out to a dear friend who worked for a local museum.  We had collaborated on several different children's projects for the museum.  She had an idea.

I proposed a workshop which taught children about bridging cultures and won the Rose Family Grant.

Here is the culmination of the Khata Tree Project© (as it stands now).  We worked with a local area youth center with at-risk pre-teens and teens.  The kids were amazing.  We used storytelling and art to bridge cultures.

Individual Khatas painted by local teens.


What had begun as a dream ended as a full-blown project.  Every kid in the youth center had an opportunity to participate in some way.  We shared stories, food, blessings and music as each child spoke about their piece.

Moral of story:  dreams are manifesting all around us - grab one and hold on tight.

In the Garden of Spirit

Plein Air Botanical Painting     Aromatic Traditions 2014

After graduating with a Bachelor of Fine Art in Communication Design - a fancy name for Graphic Designer - I found myself designing and drawing things commercially like trucks, abalone cutters and yes, I designed a logo for a condom company.  A gentle feather with a bit of a tilt at the tip.

I cut my chops at a Mom and Pop printing shop on upper State Street in Santa Barbara, CA.  The head designer the wife and the head of the print shop her husband.
Every day was pressure packed as I typeset, rendered drawings and cut and paste pounds of galleys and images to boards.  Yes, this was the old method before desktop computers.
 We had a lot of fun and we worked our asses off.  Some big name accounts used our services as well as walk-in customers.

Needless to say, I found Graphic Design boring.

Years later I decided to take a leap and signed up for a botanical painting class at my local arts center.  I immediately fell in love with the teacher's style.  She was quiet and each time she said something about what I was painting it had meaning and I could immediately move to the next step.  She became my painting guru.
I decided to sign up for private lessons and my love of botanical painting began.

Tiger Lily©            S. Varga  2014

It felt fulfilling to sit in a spot in the garden, take a deep breath and begin to paint what I felt.

Although botanical painting calls for a bit of perfection - you have to catch the spirit of the plant or flower.  In the moment.  They change by the minute as the sun shines and they start to bloom or fade.  You have only a small window of time to paint.

Part of the Aromatic Traditions™ logo contains a drawing of White Sage.  A plant that is dear to me as it is used often for smudging prior to ceremonies. (I always smudge my laboratory before I begin any product).

Here is a bit of blessing for you...

White Sage©  S. Varga 2014

May you always walk in beauty.

"Fake It 'Til You Make It"

Soul Sister Reunion          Morning Glory Cafe  1999

On a rainy day in Flagstaff, AZ, I looked out my window to see a bear naked little boy jumping up and down in mud puddles.  His blonde curly hair flying and his feet stomping.  It was a moment of sheer joy, a perfect photo op - I went next door to ask permission to take a picture of my neighbor's son and a restaurant was born.

We had now clue what we were doing.  We had a vision. And both, from indigenous backgrounds (both Native American in part but coasts apart), wanted to share our roots.  I loved gardening and wild-crafting.  Maria loved her incredible heritage and the ingredients dear to her from New Mexico.

We started literally from a dirt floor up and created an amazing place, not so much a restaurant but a place of incredible heart where people of all nations and beliefs could stop by for a bite.  And most certainly a chat.

Maria was bigger than life, I was shy and willing to work behind the scenes as an advocate.  We certainly needed one.  We were two young woman starting a business in a man's world.  Inspectors, landlords, permits, construction.  We handled it all.  We were harassed, adored, challenged and loved.  Best part of it all - we did it.

Every day we would tackle one problem or another and our battle cry was always "Fake it 'til we make it."

It gave us perspective and certainly an appreciation of the deep mystery of not knowing what the heck to do in any given moment.  We sure trusted that the answer would come -- eventually.

Not always in the package you would expect.  And always better.

Today the Morning Glory Cafe thrives - 30, yes, 30 years later.  The wonderful ladies who run the place, whom I've yet to meet in person, but support via social media, have still got the spirit.

The spirit that endures.  Making something with love for y'all to enjoy.

That's what I'm still doing at Aromatic Traditions™ and if you are ever in Flagstaff, AZ.  Please take a moment and stop by the Morning Glory Cafe and tell them that Sue sent you.

You can check 'em out here: http://morningglorycafeflagstaff.com/

Blessings.

In honor of Maria Delores Nelson Ruiz RIP my dear soul sister.

If I Had Balls..they'd be up in the air.

Girl has got her priorities on straight.

It all started a week ago when I decided I wanted to stop being invisible.  In my business and in my life.
Not hide behind "fear of success", " fear of failure"...just plain fear.

I made a call to Indie Business Network owner  Donna Maria and signed up for her "Stand Out Sister" one-hour phone consultation.

She blew me away.

She shined the light right in and there I was looking at my business Aromatic Traditions™ from an entirely different perspective.
I was excited, I was stoked, I was ready to roll out the new website and prepare to launch...

then it happened....the fear...
 it
 came
   back.

Things started falling apart.

The self-sabotage mechanisms started working.  My old familiar patterns started to kick in.

AND

At the same time, orders started to roll in.  Old accounts called asking for new lines.  New accounts wanted to launch sooner than later.  Customers started to text orders.
Something had shifted just enough  to allow room for the next step.

I took it.

Yeah, I made one batch of product three times as I worked through the issues.  I'm a little behind my schedule (getting this blog out is part of it).  My dishes are pilled high in the sink.

Oh well.
And the self-sabotage part of myself - I took it and my son to a ballgame this evening and then to dinner.
Priceless.
I'm going to be working with this fear for a long time, might as well bring it along for the ride and focus on what really counts - making memories with my family.

Love to y'all.

Little Altars Everywhere...

Sacred Space     Aromatic Traditions 2015

“Sometimes I wonder if any of us are cut out for the lives we lead.” 

― Rebecca Wells, Little Altars Everywhere

Really!  If you told me a two years ago that I would be where I am now - living on a floating home in Portland Oregon - I would have felt a little overwhelmed (to say the least).

It was a real push to pack up my home, lab and part of my family and move across the country.  As soon as we unpacked, we began to renovate from the water up.  Yes! We replaced the float system of old growth logs underneath or home, put in a sub-floor, later flooring, electricity and plumbing.

I am also living a bi-coastal relationship.  There is nothing easy about it.  You miss the cues, the little things your senses pick up about your partner.  There is nothing physical about it.

Today was a really difficult day.  We all have them.  Sometimes we have them more than we care to.  Today the sun came out and shown through my kitchen window illuminating my greenhouse and statue.  A gentle reminder to stop, slow down, and take the moment IN.

Ahhhhhhh....

It is time to be grateful to everyone and everything that brought me to this moment.
Sometimes I feel like I am not cut out for the life I chose because I forgot to be grateful for everything that got me here in the first place.

Thank You!

I am grateful.

The Way to Get Started...

Easy-Bake Oven, circa 1960's

"The way to get started is to quit talking and start doing."

-Walt Disney

Tucked inside my bedroom closet. No adults please! Just grounded and my brand new chemistry set removed from my room - I create.

This is how Aromatic Traditions™ began...

Out of the box go the baking mixes.  Into the pans go my mixes. 

Crayons, candle wax, flower petals from my beloved Peonies.

Somewhere in my heart, I knew what I came here to do.

Didn't you?

I would love to hear about YOUR earliest passions...

and how you stay true to them.

Let's start a list.

1. Follow your heart. Listen to the voice that whispers to you (HINT: it never raises its voice).